New Comic Day May 17

Finally back to some comic reviews, I only got two today which is a big incentive to get back into the swing of things.

All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #4

I don't really know why I keep getting this book. I guess it's because it comes out so rarely (this one is two months late) that I don't mind splurging every now and then. It's been a while since I read the last one, so I have no clue why Vicky Vale is in the hospital nearly dead. After reading this issue I realize that Frank Miller must be in need of some serious bling because he's S-T-R-E--T---C----H-----I------N-------G things out SO much that really nothing happens. Honestly folks, NOTHING happens except they get to the batcave. That's it. Do not cross go, do not tell a good story, collect big paycheck for writing a story which looks like it will take upwards of 300 issues to complete. Oh yeah, and a goofylooking Superman says "Damn!" twice and carries a car from Paris to Gotham (however the arrival of the car in Gotham likely won't be seen for another 5 issues). Despite the lack of story, Jim Lee does offer some nice eye candy with his art work and his 6-page(!) spread of the batcave looks pretty snazzy and on retrospect is the reason I bought the thing. I mean how often do you see a 6-page fold out nowadays.

Not too shabby eh? Anyways, I really, really, really should stop buying this and I will once Grant Morrison and Paul Dini start on Batman and Detective Comics respectively. They know how to write. And Batman is such a dick in this series. Batman shouldn't be a dick.

Ultimate X-men #70

And yes that is the blob dropping a hoagie on the cover. This issue was ok. Elliot seems to be a real power house, but cocky. I don't know who his parallel is in the original marvel universe, so it's nice they're introducing some new characters (maybe). Not a whole lot happened here either except the Phoenix comes out at the end looking to rock the house. Just put a bullet in her already. I can't help but think this arc is coming out now because of the new X-men Movie which opens in a few weeks, which will of course have Jean Grey as the Phoenix. Anyways, it was entertaining, but just barely. And what's with Nightcrawler looking like he's taking advantage of a chick in a coma? Something I did notice in this issue was the use of a sound effect which I think is awesome. For those of you that don't know, a "sound" effect in comics is just some text that is supposed to repesent the actual sound something would have in real life. Nightcrawler goes "Bamf" when he teleports (see Nightcrawler link) and Wolverine's claws go "Snikt." Tutorial done. So what is the cool sound effect you might ask? Well it takes place when Elliot actually moves the Blob, which is impressive because the Blob's mutant power is the ability to NOT move if he doesn't want to (pretty shitty power, but there ya go). So here goes:

BRAKKA-RAKKA-BA-CHOOM!

That is just awesome. I should note that the punctuation is part of the sound effect, so I will leave you with something to philosophize on: What is the sound of an exclamation point?