X-men 3: The Last Stand Review
WARNING!! This post contains spoilers for the movie as I talk about specific events which happen. If you have not seen it, I recommend NOT reading this review.
Overall: 6/10
Well sir that's about as close to 2/3 as I can get (rounded down) and I gave it that score because I only really liked the first two acts of the movie. Now lets get into specifics.
Things I Liked
Despite the lackluster score I gave, there was some things I really liked seeing on the screen.
The inclusion of the Danger Room in the beginning was really cool (though it would have been nice to see the full sentinel). I actually thought they were doing a MI3 move where they start at the end of the movie, show credits, then do a flashback and work up to where you start. I never really clued in, but when I did I thought it was awesome.
I liked the way they did Jean's powers. The Phoenix is supposed to be the unmaker of worlds and I feel that really came across as she basically "unmade" everything that got in her way by disintegrating objects. They also made her look kind of scary when she used her powers which was a nice touch. Very creepy.
I thought Kelsey Grammer did an excellent job as Beast/Hank McCoy. It's too bad he wasn't in it a bit more and it would have been nice to get some backstory on him.
Seeing Iceman "ice-up" at the end was a nice treat as well as seeing Jean burn off Logan's skin only to have it keep growing back.
Really awesome thing: Two, count 'em TWO fastball specials (where Colossus throws Wolverine).
The inclusion of the Danger Room in the beginning was really cool (though it would have been nice to see the full sentinel). I actually thought they were doing a MI3 move where they start at the end of the movie, show credits, then do a flashback and work up to where you start. I never really clued in, but when I did I thought it was awesome.
I liked the way they did Jean's powers. The Phoenix is supposed to be the unmaker of worlds and I feel that really came across as she basically "unmade" everything that got in her way by disintegrating objects. They also made her look kind of scary when she used her powers which was a nice touch. Very creepy.
I thought Kelsey Grammer did an excellent job as Beast/Hank McCoy. It's too bad he wasn't in it a bit more and it would have been nice to get some backstory on him.
Seeing Iceman "ice-up" at the end was a nice treat as well as seeing Jean burn off Logan's skin only to have it keep growing back.
Really awesome thing: Two, count 'em TWO fastball specials (where Colossus throws Wolverine).
Things I Didn't Like and/or Things That Were Dumb
I didn't like how Colossus turned another teammate into organic metal in the Danger Room sequence. He can't do that. That was dumb.
UPDATE: I've been informed that it was actually Rogue that Colosus was protecting, so she must have absorbed his powers for a bit to steel up. I missed it the first time around as it was a quick scene. So -1 dumb points for X-men 3, bringing the total dumbness to a nice round 75%.
Why the %&#@ was EVERY OTHER MUTANT EXCEPT THE MOST FLEXIBLE AND DEXTROUS (ie. Mystique) INSIDE A FULLBODY CAGE THAT YOU COULDN'T SEE THROUGH?
Juggernaut's dialouge was terrible. "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!" Just awful.
Speaking of Juggernaut. Juggernaut is NOT NOT NOT a MUTANT!!! He is a regular guy who picked up the Gem of Cyttorak and was granted powers. THEREFORE KITTY PRIDE'S TRICK TO GET HIM TO RUN INTO A WALL AND KNOCK HIMSELF OUT (WHICH WAS DUMB IN ITS OWN RIGHT) WOULD NOT NOT NOT HAVE WORKED. She and Leech would have been jelley. I know it's a knitpick cause I know more about X-men that the average movie goer, but %&#@, GET IT GODDAMN RIGHT OR DON'T HAVE HIM IN THE %&#@ING MOVIE! Ahem, sorry about that. Moving on...
This movie suffered from the same thing as the first. There were too many new characters which weren't dealt with deeply enough. The second movie was good because you already know the characters from the 1st one so you can get right into the story. Here there seemed to be characters that were in it just for the sake of having them in it. Examples include Angel (he REALLY didn't need to be there), Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, and Psylocke (even though I don't think she was mentioned by name).
The Golden Gate Bridge scene was pretty silly and the special effects for it weren't as well done as I expected. It looked very fake. As well one minute it is broad daylight and the next it is nighttime! WHAT IN THE %&#@??!! Then Magneto sends his "pawns" in as a first wave to absorb alot of the cure weapon ammo and they all get taken out. Then there's a second wave after the X-men show up? I don't get it. Where the hell did they come from. It felt very much like the earlt Batman movies where you just get wave after wave of faceless drones. Not cool.
Jean didn't really do a whole lot eh? She spent alot of the movie just standing around, dicking around. That's bullshit. They really needed to develop her more and I think the movie would have worked better if Magneto wasn't in it and you just did the original Dark Phoenix storyline with the Hellfire Club. But I guess they wanted to resolve the whole "Mutant War" thing that's been brewing.
Finally, the deaths and the cure thing in general. I figured Cyclops would die but as comic books go, no body = probably not dead. Professor X's death was unexpected but I thought was well done. HOWEVER, we were told to wait after the credits for a clip. In this clip we see Moira McTaggert tending the man she explains to the students is brain dead during Charles's lecture on the ethics of using powers. In his lecture he said something to the effect if we are able to transfer someone's consciousness into his body are we ethically allowed to do that? Anyways, in this post-movie clip, we here Prof. X's voice from the person in the bed! For those slow on the uptake, this means he transferred his consciousness into this brain dead body! WHAT IN THE %&#@??!! I will discuss this again in a bit after we talk about this cure business.
To %&#@ over Magneto, Beast stabs him with 4 (!) vials of the cure (to de-power him obviously) and at the end of the movie we see Magneto move a metal chess piece. Therefore I see two problems with this. (1) The cure doesn't work or only works for a limited time. Which is dumb because what was the point of the movie in the first place? And Rogue is in for a wake up call once her powers kick back in. (2) The cure only works on certain mutants. Also dumb because every mutant has the "X" gene which causes mutation and we are explicitly told that the cure suppresses that gene.
So let's sum up. Proffesor X isn't dead and Magneto is still Magneto. My problem with this is it is TOO comic-bookish. I realize it's a comic movie, but with comics, these types of things are kind of expected. I really don't think that type of thing works in a movie though. As well, because Prof. X is still alive and Magneto is still Magneto, there was NO POINT to do anything to them in the first place. When X's death happened, I was surprised but expected him not to be gone forever. When they start the scene at the end with Magneto in the park, I thought "He still has powers." Why did they do this? Because you can't kill Charles Xavier and you can't get rid of the X-men's greatest villain. The status quo must remain unchanged. So the "death" and the "depowering" were only there for shock value and by the end of the movie are undone anyways.
I didn't like how Colossus turned another teammate into organic metal in the Danger Room sequence. He can't do that. That was dumb.
UPDATE: I've been informed that it was actually Rogue that Colosus was protecting, so she must have absorbed his powers for a bit to steel up. I missed it the first time around as it was a quick scene. So -1 dumb points for X-men 3, bringing the total dumbness to a nice round 75%.
Why the %&#@ was EVERY OTHER MUTANT EXCEPT THE MOST FLEXIBLE AND DEXTROUS (ie. Mystique) INSIDE A FULLBODY CAGE THAT YOU COULDN'T SEE THROUGH?
Juggernaut's dialouge was terrible. "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!" Just awful.
Speaking of Juggernaut. Juggernaut is NOT NOT NOT a MUTANT!!! He is a regular guy who picked up the Gem of Cyttorak and was granted powers. THEREFORE KITTY PRIDE'S TRICK TO GET HIM TO RUN INTO A WALL AND KNOCK HIMSELF OUT (WHICH WAS DUMB IN ITS OWN RIGHT) WOULD NOT NOT NOT HAVE WORKED. She and Leech would have been jelley. I know it's a knitpick cause I know more about X-men that the average movie goer, but %&#@, GET IT GODDAMN RIGHT OR DON'T HAVE HIM IN THE %&#@ING MOVIE! Ahem, sorry about that. Moving on...
This movie suffered from the same thing as the first. There were too many new characters which weren't dealt with deeply enough. The second movie was good because you already know the characters from the 1st one so you can get right into the story. Here there seemed to be characters that were in it just for the sake of having them in it. Examples include Angel (he REALLY didn't need to be there), Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, and Psylocke (even though I don't think she was mentioned by name).
The Golden Gate Bridge scene was pretty silly and the special effects for it weren't as well done as I expected. It looked very fake. As well one minute it is broad daylight and the next it is nighttime! WHAT IN THE %&#@??!! Then Magneto sends his "pawns" in as a first wave to absorb alot of the cure weapon ammo and they all get taken out. Then there's a second wave after the X-men show up? I don't get it. Where the hell did they come from. It felt very much like the earlt Batman movies where you just get wave after wave of faceless drones. Not cool.
Jean didn't really do a whole lot eh? She spent alot of the movie just standing around, dicking around. That's bullshit. They really needed to develop her more and I think the movie would have worked better if Magneto wasn't in it and you just did the original Dark Phoenix storyline with the Hellfire Club. But I guess they wanted to resolve the whole "Mutant War" thing that's been brewing.
Finally, the deaths and the cure thing in general. I figured Cyclops would die but as comic books go, no body = probably not dead. Professor X's death was unexpected but I thought was well done. HOWEVER, we were told to wait after the credits for a clip. In this clip we see Moira McTaggert tending the man she explains to the students is brain dead during Charles's lecture on the ethics of using powers. In his lecture he said something to the effect if we are able to transfer someone's consciousness into his body are we ethically allowed to do that? Anyways, in this post-movie clip, we here Prof. X's voice from the person in the bed! For those slow on the uptake, this means he transferred his consciousness into this brain dead body! WHAT IN THE %&#@??!! I will discuss this again in a bit after we talk about this cure business.
To %&#@ over Magneto, Beast stabs him with 4 (!) vials of the cure (to de-power him obviously) and at the end of the movie we see Magneto move a metal chess piece. Therefore I see two problems with this. (1) The cure doesn't work or only works for a limited time. Which is dumb because what was the point of the movie in the first place? And Rogue is in for a wake up call once her powers kick back in. (2) The cure only works on certain mutants. Also dumb because every mutant has the "X" gene which causes mutation and we are explicitly told that the cure suppresses that gene.
So let's sum up. Proffesor X isn't dead and Magneto is still Magneto. My problem with this is it is TOO comic-bookish. I realize it's a comic movie, but with comics, these types of things are kind of expected. I really don't think that type of thing works in a movie though. As well, because Prof. X is still alive and Magneto is still Magneto, there was NO POINT to do anything to them in the first place. When X's death happened, I was surprised but expected him not to be gone forever. When they start the scene at the end with Magneto in the park, I thought "He still has powers." Why did they do this? Because you can't kill Charles Xavier and you can't get rid of the X-men's greatest villain. The status quo must remain unchanged. So the "death" and the "depowering" were only there for shock value and by the end of the movie are undone anyways.
posted by JG @ 12:15 a.m.
4 Comments:
Juggernaut didn't turn that person into metal. That was Rogue and she absorbed Juggernauts powers.
I think you mean Colossus, but if that's true it makes much more sense. Thanks for the clarification - I'll look close to see if it is Rogue 'cause I missed that the first time.
Good post. I saw this movie last Friday and was disappointed. I probably would have given it the same score. In general, the fighting in the movie stunk big-time. Thus, the think to bail it out would have to be the story -- that didn't happen either.
I was upset to see Jean Grey back. Ever since the first movie, I've deemed her the most boring X-Men member; that's saying a lot with Rogue around as well. Ironically, she showed more depth as a catatonic destructor than as whatever she was before. I had a big smile on my face when Wolverine sheathed his claws in her guts.
There were many other things I disliked, including the early departure of Cyclops, the 'death' of Professor X, the 'depowering' of Magneto, and the Juggernaut being no more after running into a wall. Perhaps the most disappointing was how Pyro was done. Based on his destructive nature shown in the second movie, I couldn't wait to see him raise some hell. Instead, he simply lit some cars on fire and had a pathetic fight with Iceman. Also, I didn't like how Mystique was cured right at the beginning as she was one of my favourite characters.
Magneto had good dialogue as usual, but he didn't do any cool metal stuff this time. Also, he had a pathetic gaggle of homeless, hopeless, gothic, reject mutants following him around. By the way, where was Nightcrawler? And when is Gambit going to make an appearance?
The only thing I did like was the portrayal of Beast -- an intellectual, feral, creature. I like him.
That's all for now.
/just passing through
I just wanted to tell you guys that according to most comic book insiders Colossus is the only character in X-Men that Rogue cannot absorb or "borrow" powers from.
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